Mandatory reading for Distributor and all affiliated employees:
RE: Christophe Hedges, Boo Walker, and Dylan Walker:
In order to insure a proper day in the market, the following provisions must be adhered to strictly. Please sign and return.
- Workwiths begin at 11:00 am and end at 3:30 pm.
- Rep will present laminated sheet to supplier with itinerary and include full names, birthdates, and addresses of buyers.
- Have your car detailed and waxed
- Have (1) single origin, Chemex-brewed black coffee, roasted within 2 weeks (2) chilled bottled waters (Evian or Voss... no exceptions) and (2) biodynamic vegan raw granola bars upon pickup
- If you drive a Honda Accord, for God’s sake, please rent something, preferably a yellow convertible Corvette—or a ‘Stang—with air-conditioned seats
- Go ahead and cancel the first appointment because we all know they won't show up anyway, and we could use the extra hour at the hotel.
- NO filler accounts. If the buyer doesn’t buy, we don’t want to meet them. We don’t care how “great” their store is or how “innovative” their shelf set is.
- Absolutely NO playing of the Avett Brothers or Mumford and Sons
- Texting or computer work while the car is in motion is forbidden and will result in swift brand removal
- Temperature in car (unless roof is down on rental) must be 72 degrees
- 3 hr. lunch at a non-chain restaurant seating no more than 30 people
- We have been eating lunch every day for 150+ years collectively; don’t even think of skipping it.
- At lunch, oysters and pink Champagne* required. *May be substituted for sparkling Loire or a bready Franciacorta with approval
- Brief espresso stop after lunch at locally owned shop run by hipsters that uses Pacific Northwest roasts* and makes their own nut milk (blend of macadamia, hazelnut, and almond preferred.) *Can be substituted for Intellegentsia or Counter Culture coffee
- Minimum sales for off premise: 112 cases, 30 of which must be Red Mountain
- Minimum sales for on premise: 10 BTGs and 11 list placements, all lasting at least 12 months.
- It is the sales reps job to close. We do not close. We speak poetically about the vineyard and then go to the bathroom while rep closes the deal.
- Workwiths and all above demands can be cancelled and replaced with a round of golf, music concert, or a professional sporting event. No need to even ask. Note: If you are caught using Pinnacle balls in our presence, it will result in swift brand removal.
Signature: ___________________________________ Date:__________________
